Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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