I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
