apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
