The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
