I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic