dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
