My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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