I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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