I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was CRYING into my vagina
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
