The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
