I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
