Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I had to cum in my sink.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize