K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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