O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
