I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
