why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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