i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
