I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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