Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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