all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
