Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
