My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
