I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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