ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
