Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Boobs are out for the taking
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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