My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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