dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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