she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
