It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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