OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
