never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
