What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If I die, sorry about rent.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
