When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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