I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
