My nipple is on Facebook.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
