Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize