I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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