the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
