she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize