I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
