You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
