I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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