I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
