At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
im six kinds of drunk right now
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
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Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
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Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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