i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
