and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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