If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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