So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I puked a lego.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
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You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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