it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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