i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
