According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
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I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
