i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
