Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
