There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
