Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
