why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
