I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
