2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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