Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
